i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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