you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize