C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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