I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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