The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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