speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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