So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
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