I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
