i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
