as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
two words...techno handjob
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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