The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
