I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
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I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are your genitals available?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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