I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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