Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
