as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
