Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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