Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
