Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
