is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize