so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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