You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
she pinky promised me she was 18
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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