I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
