I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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