He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize