3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
