so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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