meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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