I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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