She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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