I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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