So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
