The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
