I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
