Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
