i think i have two assholes
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
