Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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