You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
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Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
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Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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