If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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