she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just want to make out with him forever
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
