The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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