I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
