dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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