We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
