Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
