the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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