he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
false alarm, still single
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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