Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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