So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
