Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
