he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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