The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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