and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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