I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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