First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just forgot I was standing up.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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