so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize