I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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