I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
