why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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