So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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