I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
