Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
