My underwear smells like fireworks.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
