hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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