You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
