where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i just google imaged poop.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
