I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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