Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Randomize
