Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
