I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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