remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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