is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
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