im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
