i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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