well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
